What wisdom has to say about fear of commitment in relationships
This month’s Wisdom Out (April 2010) newsletter focused on how people know when they have found The One. For those who seek to be in a committed relationship, but who perceive themselves as lacking in good judgment about these matters, finding The One can feel more like a dilemma that requires wisdom.
Most likely, every person on the planet who has ventured into the territory of relationships has had their heart broken once or twice. Some people bounce back from heartbreak and optimistically give love another try. Others scare and stall. They either rush quickly into a new relationship to ice their bruises, or they swear off love altogether. Both extremes are fueled by fear and both diminish happiness in the long run. Fear is a darkness that has no business in love-especially in the beginning of a relationship when the template for how two people will be together is forming.
Looking at this dilemma through the lens of wisdom, I think that a person needs to stare back at fear and say “yes” more often than “no”, to the people nearby who enjoy life as it is-imperfections and all. If both parties are alert for this sense of joy over fear, you just might have something to work with. Commitment requires us to say yes. Fear lives in the world of lack, of “no”, of scarcity. So, my wisdom this lovely morning in my city by the bay? Follow love not fear, say yes more often than you say no. You still might have your heart broken, but you might find The One.
What do you think? Share your wisdom, share your stories. How did you know you found The One? What do you struggle with the most about this?
Click here to read the April Wisdom Out newsletter:
http://www.wisdomout.com/newsletter_archive.html
Do you know a wise couple you’d like to refer? Please let me know! Married, unmarried, straight, gay -makes no never mind to me. Remember, longevity of the relationship does not always equate wisdom. Some people have been together a miserably long time.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Making it a point to Wisdom Out today,
Elle
