A Wisdom Story: December 2006
Several years ago while watching the Oprah show I was moved by a guest who was sharing his personal story of transformation. His name was Bud Welsh and he was the father of Julie, a young woman who was killed when Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols bombed the Murrah Federal Building in Okalahoma City.
Bud was describing his journey from angry father seeking revenge to activist working tirelessly against the death penalty. His transformation was neither easy nor clear. For about eight months after the death of his daughter, Bud was consumed by his loss, withdrawing from family and friends and turning to alcohol to numb his pain. But then while watching the news on TV one night, he saw footage of Bill McVeigh, father of Timothy McVeigh, working in his garden. For several seconds Mr. McVeigh looked directly into the camera and in his stooped shoulders and gaze, Bud recognized the pain of a father with a child in peril. Bud’s heart stirred in that moment and he got back in touch with a long held belief, shared by his daughter Julie, that the death penalty was unproductive and added only more pain to the world. Bud began to speak out against the death penalty in general and specifically related to Timothy McVeigh. He went to New York and met with Bill McVeigh. For the first half hour of their meeting, they worked side by side in McVeigh’s garden, and as Bud Welsh told the story to Oprah, it struck me that these two men had literally found common ground. In an interview with a Florida newspaper (St. Petersburg Times, 2001), Bud Welch says he has never felt closer to God than he did the day he met Timothy McVeigh’s father. He believes that with compassion and forgiveness comes healing.
Around the same time that I saw this particular Oprah show I was beginning a journey of my own—that of learning about wisdom—the topic I was drawn to in my doctoral studies in Organizational Learning at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque. In my readings I consistently found references to the tight relationship wisdom seems to have with loss. I began to realize that where there is wisdom, loss is lurking close by.
What could account for the transformation in Bud Welch? How do we explain the journey of a person from the depths of despair to compassionate activism that transforms the lives of others and does “good” in the world? Why does one person respond to adversity and loss by transforming themselves or the environment in positive ways, while others respond to similar loss with despair, permanent anger and bitterness? Could the human characteristic we know as wisdom be the answer? If wisdom is a potential in all of us, what activates or depresses its energy? What can we do to facilitate wisdom’s growth?
(reference: Aschoff, S. (2001). Vengence and forgiveness after Oklahoma city. In St. Petersburg Times, April 15, 2001. St. Petersburg, FL.)
This is an excellent article. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Comment by Wisdom seeker — January 21, 2007 @ 7:27 pm
This relationship between wisdom and loss is profound. A person really cannot realize how lucky they are with all of our blessings until one by one they are removed or taken away. Then as one goes about their daily life striving or working towards reclaiming the loss in any small way and being thankful for the ability to it does one really experience inner peace.
Comment by Les Morton — April 1, 2007 @ 7:53 am
This relationship between wisdom and loss is profound. A person really cannot realize how lucky they are with all of our blessings until one by one they are removed or taken away. Then as one goes about their daily life striving or working towards reclaiming the loss in any small way and being thankful for the ability to do it does one really experience inner peace.
Comment by Les Morton — April 1, 2007 @ 7:55 am
I really enjoyed this article. I also found that loss can bring a new compassion and clarity for life and others. My grief was my own, but many were placed in my path throughout the journey to help me in my healing. Inner guidance and openness, even just a little bit, can bring amazing healing and a higher level of love for self and others.
Comment by Ana Vigil — April 6, 2007 @ 11:42 am
Just wanted to add to Ana and Les’s comments about loss bringing the barer to a greater sense of compassion. I think that both loss and unavoidable suffering are redeemed through a new found compassion for others. In fact, for those fortunate enough to survive, the greater sense of compassion for others is–in the short term–often the only redeeming factor.
P.S. A few weeks ago The New York Times Magazine did a v interesting piece on wisdom.
Comment by Beth Hogan — May 25, 2007 @ 9:31 am