What Wise People Know: Love begins with self-forgiveness
Teresa McCoy is a member of the Cherokee Nation living in Cherokee, NC. When I interviewed her for Wisdom Out, and asked her to speak about love, she told me something that continues to have a ripple effect in my life. She said, “You must get up every morning and forgive yourself for anything that might be bothering you. That negative feeling will be replaced by love for your community, family, nation–it all starts with love for yourself.”
Honestly, at least once a day, I struggle to grasp and hang on to the comforting yet challenging wisdom in Teresa’s words. Sometimes I have complete clarity and other times I feel lost and I lose sight of their simple meaning. I’ve come to understand this much: What we can’t forgive ourselves for takes up space inside of us. When we forgive ourselves every day, we make space for love-perhaps even for love that redeems the very transgression we refuse to forgive ourselves for. It also seems to me that when we forgive ourselves every single day, we learn how to forgive others. After all, if we can flex our forgiveness muscle by practicing on ourselves each day, we will most likely get better at forgiving others. Or, vice-versa (since some people are better at forgiving others than they are themselves).
Here is another thought: Does self-forgiveness make you more “love able”? In other words, if you don’t forgive yourself for whatever is bothering you, does this also make you at some level, unworthy of love?
What do you think about this? What is the relationship between the wisdom in self-forgiveness and your capacity to love? Discuss, share, learn.
Best to All,
Elle
